Agreeing on a Solution and Closing the Meeting
After several re-confrontations, students often offer a solution. If they do, determine if that solution meets your needs. If it does, move to close the confrontation. If it does not, continue. If the student says, “So what do you want me to do?” or “What do you expect of me?” invite the student to join you in a problem-solving discussion. Both of you suggest possible solutions, and then search for one you can both live with. It is important here that each of you gets your needs met. Don’t accept a solution you can’t live with.
If the student offers an unacceptable solution, do not accept it. Paraphrase it, so the student feels heard, and then say, “I appreciate your willingness to offer solutions. That one will not work for me because . . .” Then ask an Idea Question: “What other solution do you see?”
Once you agree on a solution:
- Clarify the solution by summarizing it in your own words.
- Show your appreciation.
- Arrange a follow-up meeting. Set a time to evaluate whether the solution is working. At the follow-up meeting, either congratulate each other about what’s working or go back to the drawing board.
Examples:
“So you’ll take your book and your band instrument to band and stay in our end of the building for third and fourth periods. I think your solution could help reduce your tardies in my class. I appreciate your help with this. Let’s meet a week from today at this time to see how it’s going.”“So if your group will let you be Recorder one-third of the time, you will participate every time. Thanks for helping me solve this problem. Let’s meet March 20th to follow up. I will write that date in my plan book."
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