Discuss and Handle Defensiveness

Once you’ve delivered your Confrontation Message, listen to what the student says in reply. Chances are that no matter how right you are, no matter how well you’ve written your Three-Part Confrontation Message, you will get defensiveness from students. A verbal skill called a Confirmatory Paraphrase will help you effectively handle students’ defensiveness.

A Confirmatory Paraphrase will “take your sail out of their wind.” That’s right! When you use a Confirmatory Paraphrase you take down your sail. When your sail is down, the student can blow (vent) all he or she wants. It won’t move you anywhere because your sail isn’t up. Keep your sail down and eventually you will affect the student’s wind as well.