Empathy Statements
An Empathy Statement demonstrates that you have heard, recognized, and can relate to someone's situation enough to put their feelings about it into your own words. An empathy statement is a skill we might choose when dealing with a situation arising from a participant's feelings or emotions.
For some people empathy really comes naturally. They exude empathy all the time, and certainly don't need directions on how to do it! For others of us, it's easy to be totally focused on the task at hand and forget what a difference it can make to take a moment to acknowledge the feelings of others. Often, after giving an Empathy Statement you can go on to solve the problem or provide the next steps that the person needs to accomplish their goal, and they will be far more receptive if they know you understand and appreciate what they are experiencing.
Empathy Statements are particularly effective in communicating with your online students, since it helps what could be an impersonal environment become more personal. While there are no prescribed steps to putting words and actions to the empathy process, what follows may assist in some of the initial learning and practice of Empathy Statements.
Step 1 (optional): Offer a Minimal Encourager, such as:
“Oh!” “Wow!” “Hmm.” “Mmm.” “Oh My!” “Yikes!”
Use a word or phrase that is part of your natural repertoire. If “Yikes!” isn't a word that comes naturally, choose another word that works for you.
Step 2: Use an Identification Phrase, such as:
“That has to be…” “It's hard to…”
“That must (be)…” “It can be…”
“That is…” “It must really…” "What a..."
As with Step 1, use a phrase that comes naturally to you.
Step 3: Use an Emotion Word that comes from the feelings you sense they are experiencing.
In a face-to-face world you would look at their body language. In an online class you have to read between the lines. Review the list of emotion words on the Emotion Words page in Topic 2-D to get some ideas if you're stuck.
Step 4: End by including a Detail about their situation that shows you are paying attention.
Notice how the four steps are used in the following example:
“Yikes! It can be * so * overwhelming when computer problems take hours and hours to resolve.”
Step 5: (This might come later) Refocus the participant's attention giving additional information by either pointing to past or future success, or leading the participant in an alternative direction.
“Yikes! It can be * so * overwhelming when computer problems take hours and hours to resolve. It's great that you are totally caught up with your assignments after all that craziness!”